Life has its ups and downs—good days, bad days, and everything in between. But guilt is an emotion that many of us experience. Whether it is guilt for not being the perfect parent, guilt for missing a best friend’s birthday, or guilt for not being the perfect employee; it is an emotion that can weigh us down, especially when we are not feeling at our best.

Guilt is a familiar feeling, but it can negatively impact your life when it persists. When you feel guilty, you suddenly lack confidence in yourself, and it may trigger feelings of sadness or despair. It can be challenging but learning to manage guilt when it rears its ugly head can help.

If you have struggled with guilt, you have probably experienced the sinking feeling you have after making a mistake—that feeling of failure and of not measuring up. But guilt itself is not bad at all. It is when guilt is crippling that it becomes a problem. Guilt helps us make better choices, or it helps us realize we have made a bad choice. Guilt is a sign that you are motivated to change.

Here’s How to Handle Guilt, So It Does Not Drag You Down:

• Do not Act on Your Guilt.

This is the biggest mistake people make. Ignoring or acting on your guilt will only make you feel worse. The way we handle guilt has a lot to do with how we carried it in the past. If, as a child, we allowed ourselves to feel guilt over something, such as not completing a task or losing sight of a goal, we may continue to carry that guilt into adulthood.

• Do Some Self-Reflection.

Be honest with yourself and acknowledge any negative patterns you may have. Guilt can be an awful feeling that stops you from doing the things you love and keeps you from living in the moment. But guilt does not stop pulling you away from things you enjoy; guilt also affects your relationships, the same way it can affect your state of mind. So how do you combat guilt? By learning to recognize how it affects you and learning how to deal with it when it does.

• Act On Your Guilt.

Find a way to make amends for the person who is wronged and do something big or small to make up for what happened. Once you admit your guilt, you can think about what you must do so you will feel better when it comes down to it. Recognize that feeling guilty is not a bad thing. We often feel guilty when we feel like we acted ‘out of character’ or did not live up to our own expectations. Do not feel guilty about things you cannot do anything about. If you feel guilty about something, think about what you can learn from it and how you can do better next time.

• Learn From the Past. 

When you are stressed, anxious, or depressed, you may feel guilty. This is normal and happens for quite a few reasons. However, if you feel guilt over things that happened in the past, it is a sign you need to rethink your thinking. Instead of dwelling on the past, try to focus on where you are and what you need to do now.

• Practice Gratitude. 

We all feel some degree of guilt in our past. But guilt can be paralyzing and keep you from moving forward. When you feel guilty, you often focus on the past and think about what you did or did not do. That can put you on the fast track to feeling depressed, which then causes you to feel guilty about that depression. However, practicing gratitude, being thankful, and being grateful can keep you from feeling shame or guilt.

• Replace Negative Self-Talk with Self-Compassion. 

Self-compassion often goes hand-in-hand with mindfulness, but you may have only heard of it in the context of psychotherapy. However, self-compassion is far more than a therapeutic tool. It is a tool that we can use to address and overcome a variety of negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety, and depression. Research also indicates that self-compassion benefits the person’s physical and emotional well-being.

Guilt is an emotion that can creep up on you, and when it does, it can leave you feeling inadequate and unworthy. Sadly, guilt is usually not due to anything you did wrong. Instead, guilt is often due to something you did not or have not done. But you do not have to let guilt control you.

We all experience guilt. It is how we deal with that guilt that determines whether guilt can have a negative impact on our lives. Guilt is an emotion that can lead us to make choices that might negatively impact us. Rather than feeling bad, guilt is an emotion that motivates us to change or avoid making the wrong choice. Guilt can help us to follow through when we know the right choice.